Wednesday, February 24, 2016

2/24/16 It has been a rough few days.

I didn't give up on the detox program, I have just been violently ill.  I don't think it was the flu.  It felt like food poisoning but I ate the same things my husband did and he is fine.  (Warning: Too much information coming)  I threw up for 12 hours starting Saturday evening.  I had the most severe abdominal cramps.  I probably should have gone to the hospital but I just hate doing that.  It was so painful.  What I didn't throw up is still working it's way through my intestines and so I am still having mild cramping.  On Sunday I went to bed every couple of hours and slept for a couple of hours at a time.  I had a horrible headache too.  Every muscle in my body aches.  On Monday I was just limp.  Like I mentioned I am still having mild abdominal cramping and I am trying to drink liquids and not eat too much solid food.  Hopefully this will pass otherwise it is off to a doctor.

Here is the next detox day:

I Let Go Of:
Unhealthy social media habits – Focusing on social media, instead of being social. since I moved to the east coast, I am quite isolated.  Maybe social media is a contributing factor.  I didn't need to make friends here.  I just kept my old ones through facebook and I plan on going back to them. 
I am harmonious in my relationships. I do not hide from relationships by focusing on other people's lives. It is healthy for me to have an interest and connection with a variety of people. With the internet at my disposal, I can now have this connection all over the world. There is are healthy ways to be a part of social media, and I know when I am not in alignment with them.  True
“I am communicative and expressive in all my relationships, both in person and online.”  I can be a very closed person.  My co-worker M - the bigot is a good example.  She tries to get me to open up to her but I really don't like the garbage she spews so I try to keep my thoughts to myself so her poison opinion doesn't get in my head.  Her bigotry knows no bounds.  It is everyone.  Yesterday it was the people that build rocket boosters for NASA are all idiots.  See what I mean..why was that even a necessary thing to spew at me.
Today, I will notice my behavior around social media. Do I look at my phone while having conversations ... check Facebook while at dinner ... jump on Instagram while in a meeting ... write my blog while visiting with family or friends? I will be a loving witness to my habits, actions and feelings as I observe myself as I engage - or disengage. I will then take some time to really sit with, journal on, and ask myself this question: Am I truly present - for myself and others - in ways that honor us all?  If the answer is yes, I will congratulate myself and carry on. If not, I will take action to be more aware and present by sharing this intention with at least one other person.  I think I should put my phone down in the evening.  There is really nothing critical on it.  It is mostly the desperation to be connected to the people in Wisconsin.
Personal Experience:
I LOVE technology and believe in its ability to advance our forward progress – but I also recognize how much easier and more comfortable it is for me to text someone than to call them, or stop over for a visit. My technology has become an extension of me … and while I believe it is a great instant communication tool, I recognize there are times, and moments, to lay it down … put it away and connect physically with family, friends, etc. Being fully present in the moment is challenging for me … because I am used to external stimuli and my mind is addicted to the constant movement. When I am waiting in line, I am checking email. When I am out with friends waiting for dinner to be served, I am checking my Facebook page … seeing what my friends are doing, or my family. While the instant communication I believe is of great value … so is the present moment – right here in front of me! I see how I miss out on living in my own life by witnessing others living theirs instead; and it is important to me to change this, as I have seen my own personal relationships suffer because if it.
Journal Questions:
What keeps me from connecting in-person?  The fear of opening up and having someone be critical of me.  
Why do I distract myself while in the company of others with checking my Instagram/Facebook page?  My one sister and her kids are really bad about this.  It makes me realize that when I am in the presence of humans, I need to put my phone away.
Have I become too dependent on texting rather than calling?  My husband prefers texts.  I would so much rather he just pick up the phone and tell me what he wants instead of a bunch of texts.  It would be so much quicker to just talk to me.
How has technology hurt my personal relationships?  It has kept my old ones going strong. But I think it has hindered me making any new ones.  

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