Thursday, December 24, 2015

12/24/15 Thursday

I didn't have to work today so I am being lazy.  I am sitting at my home desk for a little bit then when the pain in my hip builds I go hang out in the lazy boy chair.  In that chair I can stretch my leg out and ease the pain.  After surgery I have to walk 5 to 10 minutes every hour.  I also can't sit in the lazy boy after surgery.  I will be spending a lot of time at the dining room table.  Maybe I will get caught up on stuff I have been neglecting.

I left my Kindle at work.  At least that is what I hope.  Can't imagine where else it would be. Positive side is I won't read everything this weekend and then have nothing for when I am laid up.

My mother sent me a coloring book.  One of those new ones that are so popular with adults right now.  funny thing is I was thinking about getting her one of these.  She doesn't move very much any more and she really doesn't do anything.  I thought coloring would give her something to do.  She said she got it for me because she remembers how I sat and colored with my nieces when they were little.

I am looking forward to being pain free.

Well back to paying bills.

Love to all of you,

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

12/23/15 Happy Festivus

For all you Seinfeld TV show lovers - Happy Festivus for the rest of us!

I haven't been updating my blog again.  I just get bogged down in a funk so many days.  I was cutting down on my anti-depressant because I thought it might help with weight loss.  Today I am going back to a full dose.  I hope that helps.

I had my pre-op hospital visit yesterday.  So scared yet excited at the same time.  I see this as a good thing but my husband is losing his mind over this.  While he wants me  better but  he thinks even after surgery I will be an invalid.  He is driving me bonkers with his doomsday attitude.   My surgery date is January 6th.  That is just around the corner.

I have an older version of a Kindle that I bought used.  I loaded it up last week getting ready to be stuck at home for 6 weeks.  I am going to be done with them before I even go to the hospital at this rate. I have read Virals by Kathy Reich, Deep Freeze by Lisa Jackson, and am almost done with Fatal Burn by Lisa Jackson.  I am still reading The 4 Agreements but as with most self-help books, I get overwhelmed by all the things I should change about myself that I just put the book down.  With books that aren't self help I can really get lost in them.  Love to Read.  I am going to try to keep track of what I read in 2016 on a different page on my blog.  I am wondering how many books a year I do read.

I am still working on my Bucilla Sunflower.  The border on it is so very many different colors and I am constantly changing out my threads that it is taking a long time.  I would like to start a different project but I know that if I stop working on this it will go in the drawer never to be seen again.

My dieting has stalled.  I haven't been listening to OA either.  Not sure why.  I think I just get tired of thinking about food and what NOT to eat.

On a family note I was attacked on Facebook by my brother and I think it was uncalled for.  I called my one sister to talk it out and I feel so much better.  Didn't sleep at all last night  because it was so upsetting.  I am not going to make an issue of it with my brother for a couple of reasons.  1.  No good will come of it.  2.  We both think he has started drinking again and there is no talking to him when he is in that state.   I am glad I talked with her.  She is a very special person.  I wish my husband liked the area she lives in.  I would so love to be living near her.  But we are going to be building a tiny house 300 miles away from her.  That is close enough to visit her more often.   I do look forward to starting up "sister weekends" again.

Have a great day.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

12/9/15 Wed

I worked from home yesterday.  It helps to not have to ride the train back and forth to work.  That herky-jerky ride causes my hip so much pain.  But I was sitting in my desk chair and the pain was just too much so I didn't update my blog.  It is very strange to me how I can sit in the living room recliner with my left  (bad hip) leg outstretched and my right leg any position and sit there all day long and not have any pain.  But I can't sit in a regular desk or table chair without incredible pain.  

I think I have mentioned before my husband is a retired Marine and he saw a lot of combat and ugly things.  So he has PTSD and I can usually deal with it and try to take away his anxieties whenever possible.  But this situation with my pain and hip is just escalating his symptoms.  He really can't deal with it.   And now he has a bad cold.  My goodness is he a crabby man lately.  Tomorrow he has his interview for the job in Minnesota.  Fingers-crossed he gets it.

I don't have any pictures today but I am coming along on my sunflower.  The border is all confetti and driving me nuts.  It will be cute when it is finished.  I have a tiny dragon fly charm that I think I will sew onto it too.

I left my journal at home.  It has my notes on it from the book I am reading - The Four Agreements.  It is very interesting look at human behavior.

I am working from home again tomorrow and I have the first appointment for my surgery.  It is a phone call appointment to give information.  Scared about the operation yet so excited to have it done and this pain be gone.

Wishing you all peace and happiness,


Monday, December 7, 2015

12/7/15 Monday

Boy, this trying to lose weight is tough stuff.  I don't move much so I don't burn calories. Therefore, I shouldn't take in very many. Eating such a tiny bit is a truly a struggle.

I find that I do not go onto the computer on the weekends.  I stay away from it. I guess my blog won't get updated on the weekends.  This weekend I went to Wal-Mart to stock up on stuff we were running out of.  Then I went to the grocery store.  About 1/2 through the store I knew I was tiring out.  So I only went to about 3/4ths of the grocery store.  Just got the basics for the week.  Could barely move the rest of the weekend.  So much pain. I did get a little bit of stitching done over the weekend.
My husband has a bad cold.  Goodness you would think he is dying.

Listening to an OA meeting on the phone I heard a couple things that stuck with me.  One comment had to do with those that aren't comfortable with the idea of God or those that have a hard time communicating with God.  She said: Start the day with "Good Morning God".  It will help you to start communicating with God.
I found that interesting.

One lady said: "I am hard wired for negativity".  That really struck me too.  My mother is so negative and just always found the bad part of everything.  My co-worker "M", will tell you she is a positive person but she is just like my mother in the fact that she will point out the negative of everything.  Very discouraging and exhausting people to be around.  But I can see where I am hardwired for negativity and I will need to make sure I am on the UP side of things.

I finished the James Patterson book I was reading on Friday so this weekend I started reading a book I have had for many years.  The Four Elements by Don Miguel Ruiz.  So far there have been some interesting ideas that resonate with me.  Like this: No one abuses us as much as we abuse ourselves.  If we have abusive people in our lives-we keep them around-as long as they don't abuse us as much as we abuse ourselves.   Then I got to the first part of how to change yourself.  Be impeccable with your word.  Impeccable means without sin.  Be without sin with your word to yourself and to others.  Very interesting!

Well, I'm off to work.  Have a great day.

Friday, December 4, 2015

12/4/15 Sunflower

TGIF - It's Friday.
So glad.  I worked it out with my boss that I can tele-work some days but not the first week of the month.  It has been working out that if I stay home on Tuesday and Thursday I can recoup from the pain.  When I work all week the pain just builds and builds and I hardly move on the weekend.  It is amazing to me how exhausting pain is.  I am so tired but when I lay down to sleep the pain radiates down my whole leg.  I have these awful dark circles under my eyes now from not enough restful sleep.  Okay enough whining.

My husband is a federal employee and months ago he applied for a job at Fort Snelling in Minnesota. Not too far from our hometown in Wisconsin.  He got notice that he didn't get the job.  Yesterday he got a request to do another interview with them.  This would be awesome.  I wish it would have happened back a few months before we put earnest money down on the new house. It will be a long commute for him.   It would be a really hard beginning to 2016.  They would want him to start in January.  If he gets offered the job he will have to negotiate for February as I am suppose to have surgery Jan 6th.  The other downside is he would move back without me.  We have a lease that we can not get out of.  So I would stay here and work and pay the lease.  While he worked and found a room to rent there.  It would be a tough 10 months but I think it would be worth it.  I couldn't sleep last night and I laid there and it popped into my head that my cousin Julie has a huge house and all her children are gone.  It is huge 3 kitchens, 2 living rooms, at least 4 bedrooms.  I think it has at least 3 bathrooms too.  So I will reach out to her if he gets this job offer.

What I am reading:  I have read a couple of Tom Clancy's books recently.  Dang they are scary.  They were written a while back but they are nailing the current terrorism and world conditions today.
Right now I am reading James Patterson's Unlucky 13.  Again with the scary terrorism plots.  I hope the next book I pick up is more lighthearted.

Here is my Sunflower by Dimensions:

There is a lot of back stitching to be done that will bring out certain elements that right now just look like a mis-mash of colors.

OA For Today: Avoidance of suffering is natural, but as a compulsive overeater,  I am alert to my tendency to try to escape what most people accept as a part of living.

OA Voices of Recovery: Prayer changes things,  And when I don't like the changes, I can at least be assured that they came from God.

Happy Friday Everyone.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

12/3/15 updates.

Hey Everyone,

I haven't been blogging because I have felt so "poor me" and I don't need to bring that depression to anyone.

So some updates.  I am no longer doing Stitch from Stash updates as it has been disbanded.  I really enjoyed it and it did reign my spending in.  I don't have a picture of my latest project which is a 5 X 7 of a Sunflower.  For my sunflower kitchen.

We drove home to Wisconsin over the Thanksgiving week.  I found a property and builder in New Richmond, WI.  We put our money down on a lot and picked a very small house to be built.  It is only 2 bedrooms and no basement.  It is tiny but we needed to keep the price and upkeep low as we will be unemployed and heading out into retirement.  We are too young to actually retire so we need to find jobs next fall.  We should close on it June 30, 2016.  It hasn't been started yet but here is a picture of the one next door to our lot.  It is just like it and is in the process of being built:

I am very excited about it.  Also a little scared about it being so small.  My brother-in-law has a home building background so I am hoping to find plans for a deck and screen porch that I can hire him to do at a low cost.  It is so small it has me wondering about all the stitching projects I have lined up.  I don't think I have enough wall space for them.  LOL.  But I do know once we get moved in we will be having a massive downsizing garage sale.

News on my hip.  I found a doctor who will give me a hip replacement despite my weight.  January 6th is the big day.  I hope nothing changes that.  The pain has been excruciating. Some days I just can't stop crying it hurts so bad. Going from sitting to standing is so painful. The ride on the subway train is a killer.  It is such a herky-jerky ride.  I can barely walk when it is time to get off.  I take so much ibuprofin that sometimes I get sick from that.

I quit weight watchers and started Medifast.  This is one of those diets where you eat their food. Since both programs cost money I can't do both.  The food is disgusting. So I only eat the bars which is like eating candy.  That goes against everything I have learned in Overeaters Anonymous.  With that program you give up foods that trigger binges and candy is one of mine.  Basically it is 1200 calories a day.  I am also suppose to drink 64 ounces of water a day.  Just can't seem to do that.  To try to help with losing weight I have cut back on my anti-depressant that I take.  Can't tell if it is helping or hurting me.  I have lost about 9 pounds.

I read an article last Sunday that was about creativity and doing something for 365 days.  One lady does a different hair braid on herself or someone else.  One lady made tiny chairs out of different stuff.  The object is to finish the project each day.  I was thinking as I was reading that I do Cross stitch a bit every day.  But I don't finish for a long time.  Reading the Bible daily is an awesome goal too but again you don't finish.  There was nothing creative that popped into my head.  Then the article said writing everyday was another creative 365 day thing you could do.  That made me think I could start being more reliable about my blog and that may get my juices flowing.  We shall see how that goes.

December 3rd scripture: Luke 9: 1,2  He called the 12 together and gave them power and authority over all the demons and to cure diseases.  And he sent them out to preach the Kingdom of God and to heal.

OA's Voices of Recovery: Pray to God but continue to row to shore.

Thanks for listening.